PUNS FOR THOSE WHO LOVE WORDS 


Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine .

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - The same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating - Always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death. 



A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes. 


Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? 

 



Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I. 



A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give-away.) 



Time flies like an arrow.

Fruit flies like a banana. 



In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion .

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed. 



With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. 



The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under. 



Every calendar's days are numbered. 



A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine. 



A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed. 



A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.